Cut
by TheEccentricSpeaker
Summary: Seventeen year old Timothy McGee is admitted to the hospital on suicide watch for slitting his wrists. After that he had never really cut anymore yet took antidepressants daily. What happens when a case digs up his nasty habit? Now finished.
1. It Happens Again

_Here's my new fic: Cut. I'm really curious to the reaction of this story so please review and tell me what you think. Warning: This story does contain self-harm or cutting and suicidal thoughts so you've been warned. Review please._

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Staring. That's all seventeen year old Timothy McGee could do, stare blankly at the walls surrounding him. He felt so foolish and so childish sitting alone in a small hospital room his knees to his chest. Never before in his life had young Timothy thought of cutting himself, that is until today. He extended his arms gingerly and almost winced when he pulled back the bandages. Going up and down his forearms were large, horizontal cuts some overlapping the others. It had been the worse mistake of his life. He wasn't exactly sure what drove him to cut himself, it was quite sudden actually. One minute he had been cutting fruit and the next the sharp blade was cutting his pale flesh.

"Timothy McGee?" Looking up slowly slight shaking young Timothy watched as a tall man with spiky, blonde hair a doctor's lab coat, and a friendly smile. "We're going to monitor you for the rest of the night and then if everything checks out fine you can go home." The man said with a smile. Timothy nodded slowly and stared off it too space thinking deeply. _'That was so stupid, why did I even do that?' _As Timothy kept beating himself a dark thought kept intruding, _'But it felt good...' _Sighing deep with frustration Timothy leaned back and closed his eyes slowly for some much needed rest. That was the first time he had been but on suicide watch and it wouldn't be his last.

_NCIS_

Sitting at his desk his head in his hands, Special Agent Timothy McGee sat stone still thinking. It seemed lately that his past was coming back to haunt him. Their latest closed case involved a Bipolar Marine who had finally arrived home after two years Iraq only to find that his wife had moved on. They found that he had killed himself by cutting himself to deeply. Clenching his hands tightly in his hair, McGee felt a deep need to once again cut himself. It was like an addiction to him, he constantly had to take antidepressants to keep the dangerous thought off of his mind but it just wasn't working now. He had to.

Standing up forcefully and under the keen vision of his co-worker Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, McGee walked in the direction of the men's restroom carefully not to draw attention to himself. He made sure to go to the bathroom that wasn't used very much, he made sure no one was following him and slowly he pushed open the door and slowly let himself fall back against the wall and slide down to the ground. What McGee didn't know is that he forgot to lock the door. Whipping out his knife that he carried, McGee looked into the shinny, silver blade and saw his reflection. He looked pale, his eyes were dark and shadows had started to appear where he hadn't been able to sleep at all; he was miserable. But soon he would fell better.

Placing the sharp blade on his pale wrist, McGee added just enough pressure to make the cut and slowly pulled the knife across his wrist. He felt calm now, relieved almost. Closing his eyes he felt tears start to slowly roll down his cheeks. Opening his dark eyes, McGee pulled the blade across again, his crimson blood dripping down onto the stone floor. _'You're worthless! You can never do anything right, you're a failure!' _McGee thought bitterly to himself. All of this had started back when his mother had died and his father blamed him. That had been the first time he cut, then it had just been a foolish mistake. Look where it had gotten him now. Dragging the blade forcefully across his arm, McGee held back his groan in pain. Feeling more tears he rested his head against the wall, blood dripping from his arm.

It seemed as if he was in a bad nightmare, like none of this was real. Like he didn't really cut himself, that he wasn't really suicidal. It just didn't seem real. McGee was in a daze and he was falling fast. He didn't know what he should do but he knew that if he didn't do something he was going to end up dead. _'But would it be so bad?' _McGee thought to himself. _'Would it hurt if I was gone?' _He was so out of it that he didn't even hear the door open. "McGee?" It was Tony.

McGee's eyes flew open and he dropped the knife to the floor, his blood staing the floor. He clasped his arm hard and quickly pushed past Tony his jaw clamped down hard. Stalking to the elevator, McGee slowly started to feel dizzy and weak and by the time the elevator arrived he collapsed.


	2. Always Living In A Nightmare

Whispering and beeping. That's all McGee heard as he slowly awoke from his sleep. Slowly he opened his dark eyes to see Tony, Gibbs, Kate, Abby, and Ducky all talking with one another. He tried to wipe his forehead with his hand when suddenly McGee felt the wrist restraints holding him down. Feeling a sense of panic, McGee pulled hard on the restraints and gave a muffled scream of frustration. McGee continued to pull hard of the restraints muttering curses under his breath. "Don't fight it, just calm down McGee," Gibbs said his tone gruff. McGee attempted again to move but gave up, tears in his eyes.

"Why...why did you bring me here?" McGee said timidly, he felt like he was seventeen again only now they only people he had left knew his dark secret. What would they think of him? That he was pathetic, worthless? McGee looked down at his bandaged wrist with shame. How could he have let it come this far?

"Because McGee you passed out from blood loss after I found you." Tony said harshly, he just couldn't believe that McGee could do such a thing. It was just so unlike him. _'I should've seen it, I really should have.' _Tony was beating himself up for this, he felt like it was his fault.

McGee lowered his head in shame, unable to look his friends in the eye. He needed help, serious help. "I'm...sorry." The next thing he knew Abby had tackled him into a hug, tears starting to wet his hospital gown. "Abby...don't cry." He attempted to comfort her but he couldn't.

"Oh I'm so sorry Timmy! Why didn't you tell us?" Abby pulled away and looked at him, her eyes red and puffy.

McGee felt his heart drop, once again he had screwed up. "Abby what good would it have done if I would've told you guys? I was depressed, I took medication for it. Time went on. I shouldn't be a burden on your shoulders." McGee felt so distant and unable to do anything right.

Kate looked down at her "Probie" with affection. "McGee you're..." An unknown voice cut her off.

"My, my Timothy McGee I didn't expect to see you in here again." Looking up in confusion, McGee saw a tall man with blonde hair that was slightly graying a friendly smile on his face. It was the doctor that had admitted him last time for his...problem. Fourteen years had passed since he had started cutting. Fourteen years.

"Neither did I," McGee said absentmindedly. It seemed that over the fourteen years since his teenage life when his mother was still alive he had been just running through the motions. He had no life, no girl friend; no Timothy McGee didn't have anything except his job, his medication, and his razor blades and knives. _'God I am pathetic...' _Closing his eyes McGee attempted to think of something happy but all he saw were dark, ominous storm clouds. That's all he ever saw, the darkness in life never being able to find the light. He didn't even notice when he fell asleep because no matter what he was always in a nightmare.

_NCIS_

Whenever McGee woke up he felt strange, he felt...happy. Smiling slightly McGee looked over and saw a dark, wood side. Feeling confused McGee looked over to his left and once again was met by a wood side. Looking up he saw Tony standing over him, tears in his eyes. "I wish I could have saved you man, I really do." McGee tried to speak but no words would come out, he couldn't move or speak. He couldn't do anything but watch.

Gibbs came into view, a look of pain on his face. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." He walked away McGee trying to talk again his mouth moving in the words of, 'Please help me!'

Kate talked to him as well, tears freely rolling down her cheeks. "I'm going to miss you Probie." She completely broke down then. He ached to comfort her but he couldn't, he just couldn't. Kate walked away leaving him alone again.

Abby was next to talk to him, and the worse part about it was that McGee could finally speak and no one could hear him. "Abby, Abby I'm right here! I'm not dead!" McGee pulled himself out of his coffin and desperately tried to get people to listen to him. "Hello! Can't you hear me! Hello!" He screamed out to them. McGee walked in front of Tony and waved his hands in front of his eyes. "Tony! Can't anyone hear me?!" Fresh tears of pure frustration rolled onto his cheeks. His throat was starting to get sore from yelling attempted to be heard. "Can't you hear me?!" Punching Tony in frustration he saw that his fist just went right through him. "Oh God…" McGee whispered and walked over to the coffin and was shocked at what he saw.

Lying in the coffin, his eyes lightly shut was…himself. Timothy McGee was dead. Dropping to his knees McGee muttered to himself, "No, no, no, no!" He screamed to the top of his lungs. Thankfully that's when he awoke from his nightmare.

_NCIS_

Gasping loudly McGee's eyes flew open and tried to sit up but the nurse's had his wrist restraints tied down tight. He could feel the hot, sticky sweat roll down his face and the dried tears on his cheeks. McGee looked idly around the room wondering if his friends had abandoned him, and they had. All except one. Sitting by his side asleep was one of his closest friends, Tony. McGee felt quite touched, usually people just left him and said the hell with him but not the people he knew now. No, these people were the nicest bunch he had ever been around. _'And now you're screwing it up…' _McGee sighed it was true; he was screwing up the best thing he's had in a while. _'But it's like an addiction," _he thought to himself. _'It's just too hard to stop...'_ McGee sighed deeply, he truly was pathetic.

"You know I never knew if you were going to ever wake up." McGee looked over and there Tony sat looking at him blankly. "You're boring when you sleep." Tony said matter-of-factly and stood and stretched and then looked at his wrist restraints. "Sorry." He said while looking out the door to make sure no one was looking while he untied the unneeded restraints. "There, you are now free. Don't mess it up or I'll tie you back down myself." Tony said his voice fully supporting his warning. McGee nodded and rubbed his chaffed wrists, his fingers grazing over the small scars he had made.

"Listen Tony I'm sorry but I just don't know what to do. It's just...hard." McGee said once again sounding like a child but he spoke the truth. It was very hard for him not to cut. He desperately wanted help for his life-threatening addiction.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, you're a big boy you know what's right and wrong. Although I kind of doubt that now." Tony said sounding betrayed. "I just can't believe you would do that to us. What if you accidentally cut a vein and died hm? Where would that leave us, your friends?" Tony took a deep breath trying to calm down, his fists balled so tight that his knuckles were white. "Listen I..." Tony was cut of by an unknown voice, this time it wasn't his old doctor friend.

"Mister Timothy McGee?" It was a woman, her voice light and impersonal. She was a tall woman, a brunette, she wore dark slacks and a plain white dress shirt and from what he could see she didn't wear make up. "I'm Raven Jones, I am a representative from the Cainbridge Mental Hospital and I would like to talk to you about a possible admission to help you and your problem." She walked to his bed side opposite of Tony and gave him a look. "Are you a relative?" She asked his voice icy.

McGee was about to say no when Tony said, "Yes I'm his brother Tony."

The representative gave him a look but shrugged and looked back at McGee. "We have a special program for your type of mental distress." McGee didn't like the words "your type" it made him sound like a loon. _'Who knows maybe I am.' _It was highly possible.

"Would it help me...stop?" McGee asked uncertainly.

The woman nodded and looked at him, her dark eyes full of unknown wisdom and pain. "I do think it will Mister McGee, it's worth a shot anyway." She smiled at him. "So what do you think? One full year at our institution should help and eliminate your distress and if signs say that you are fit earlier than we might be able to release you early. How does that sound?" A full year away from the only people he had for friends. Could he do that? _'But they're going to help me.' _

McGee sat silent for a few minutes thinking to himself and then looked at Tony who nodded his head and then back to the representative named Raven Jones and nodded. "I'm in." And so it was settled tomorrow afternoon at four o clock he would be sent to the Cainbridge Mental Hospital for a full year. Little did he know that his stay would both be hell and a blessing.


	3. The Great Alaska Hanson

_Woo-hoo! I finally updated! Oh, I am so sorry for not updating but until tonight I just couldn't think of anything at all! This chapter includes new wacky characters that I hope you guys like! Oh, and I own nothing besides my own characters! Till next time which will hopefully be soon!_

_`Bethany  
_

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The day went quite fast for McGee, his mind seeming to be on auto-pilot. The next thing he knew, McGee was saying goodbye to all of his friends. Abby was especially difficult, her tears making Tim's fragile heart break in two. They had shared many long hugs and even a kiss or two, neither of them really wanting him to go to a mental hospital. Gibbs had been fatherly toward him; tell him to stay out of trouble and to get better. McGee had stood in front of Gibbs, his head hung low; he felt as if he had failed the older man. Tony had told him not to worry about it and hugged him tight then quickly released him, punching him brotherly. Kate and Ducky had both hugged him and they all told him that they were watching out for him. This at least made McGee feel a little more secure. So now, as he entered the bus to the mental hospital, McGee at least felt confident that he had something to fight for.

The Cainbridge Mental Hospital was a large building that reminded him vaguely of Arkham Asylum from Batman Begins. The building was almost like a large Gothic like mansion that to be honest, really made McGee feel uncomfortable. A large orderly that towered over McGee forcefully pulled him off of the small van that he had rode in. Then another orderly came and with both hands on his arms, pulled McGee up the stairs and into the Cainbridge Mental institution. He was then pushed into a small room. Sitting in a chair sitting by the window staring at McGee oddly was a stick-thin man with wild brown hair, haphazardly styled. "Ah, well hello there Timothy." The man cocked his head to the side, his odd violet eyes bright. "Or would you rather me call you Tim?"

"Tim's fine, sir." McGee mumbled uncomfortably, he was just a tad bit shy and worried.

The man stood up and walked over to McGee and stuck his hand out, "Well I'm Nathan Bell and I am pleased to meet you Tim." McGee shook Nathan's hand and he smiled brightly. "Excellent!" He said loudly while practically skipping back over to his chair. Nathan scooted his chair closer and McGee frowned slightly at the extreme close proximity. He didn't like strangers invading his "bubble". Almost like he was reading his mind, Nathan scooted back a few feet making McGee fell more comfortable. "Well I'm going to be your psychologists while you stay here at Cainbridge." McGee smiled a bit, at least the man was friendly.

"Well it's nice to meet you Doctor Bell," he said politely.

Nathan scrunched up his crooked nose, "Ugh Doctor Bell makes me sound old and weird." Nathan shuddered, "You can call me Nathan like everyone else does."

McGee nodded, "Okay Nathan," he said with a smile.

Nathan looked at him happily, "Oh you're only her for five minutes and you're already making a lot more progress than most! Go Tim!" He said while pumping his fist up in the air. "Okay, now to get down to business!" Nathan said while pulling out his notebook. He curled his long legs underneath himself and clicked his pen ready for action. "Alright Tim McGee, let's see what makes that mind of yours tick."

After about an hour of analysis, McGee was released with encouraging words from Nathan. "Oh you'll do fine here." He had said with a smile, but there was just something in his voice that McGee was having trouble believing. McGee was then lead to a large day room where multiple people of various ages sat.

"Stay here, we'll be watching you." The orderly gruffly said, releasing the vice-like grip on his arm.

McGee nodded and walked over and sat down at a table where a young girl around his age sat. "Hi," he said to her. The girl sat stone-still, staring off into space as if she couldn't hear him.

When he was about to say something else another girl around his age said, "I hardly doubt you're going to get her to talk. She's deaf and crazy, just like the rest of us." The girl was short and skinny, with long curly blonde hair that hung down in her eyes.

"I'm not crazy," McGee sat sternly glaring at the girl.

The girl laughed humorlessly and plopped down in the chair next to him, "Yeah right and I'm David Bowie." The girl laughed again and looked at him with a smirk on her face. She acted like she was going to punch causing McGee to flinch. "Well it seems you've got yourself a nickname _Flinch." _She said while thumping his nose lightly. McGee glared at her and she just smirked back at him.

"Well who are you?" McGee asked with agitation not actually caring for the girl's name.

The girl jumped up from her seat and placed her hands on her heads in a super hero way. "Why I am the great Alaska Hanson!" She said loudly getting almost everyone's attention.

"Sit down Alaska." A short, over-weight nurse told her loudly, a needle up in threat.

Alaska laughed and loudly said, "As if!" Before back flipping twice and then landing before the nurse. The nurse then jabbed the needle into Alaska causing her to make a loud noise, "Flinch I've been wounded." And those were her last words before falling into an unconscious state. The orderly's then took her away, dragging her feet along behind them.

McGee then looked around and saw that almost everyone was staring at him and he waved awkwardly before mumbling to himself, "This is going to be hell."

The rest of the day in the day-room went by uneventful, no one acting like Alaska or doing anything. They just sat there really and stared out into space. Then after group therapy, (which went by painfully slow) it was time for bed. McGee was escorted to his quarter's where a man with stone pale skin and black hair that was cut into a bowl was lying silently. When the two men were left alone, McGee was about to introduce himself when the man turned over into fetal position, obviously not wanting to be bothered. McGee shrugged his shoulder and sat himself down on the small mattress. Springs dug into his backside and then when he laid down they dug into his back. McGee closed his eyes and felt tears starting to prickle at his eyes. "God," he said quietly. "Please help me."


	4. Kalvin, The Roommate

The next day when McGee was awaken, he noticed that his room mate was staring at him. The man seemed in his mid-thirties, perhaps a couple of years younger. The man had chocolate brown hair that made his stone-pale face even paler. McGee uneasily sat up in his bed and looked at the man. "Hello," McGee said nervously, he was never to keen on  
meeting new people.

The man smiled at him and oddly said, "Hello." He then introduced himself as Kalvin Solomon. "You must be Tom," Kalvin said brightly a strange expression on his face.

"Tim," McGee politely corrected him. Kalvin nodded and then the orderly from yesterday and one McGee didn't know came into their room.

They took Kalvin and he waved back at McGee, "See ya," he said with a look of insanity on his face. '_Great_,' McGee thought to himself, '_My roommate is freaking crazy._' Saying that made McGee remember a quote he had heard once, _"We're all mad here."_ Oh how appropriate that quote seemed now.

Within ten minutes, an orderly had come for him, given McGee a change of clothes, and took him into Nathan's office. He was dressed in a white dress shirt with a black pinstriped vest. McGee felt extremely under dressed in his plain white t-shirt and black jumpsuit pants. "Oh  
hello there Tim," Nathan said brightly. "Take a seat there won't you?" The orderly, or Ross as he had told McGee, let his arm go and took a seat. "How are this morning Tim?"

_'Like a prisoner,'_ McGee thought glumly to himself. He knew that this was the best thing for him at this point in his life. He wanted to stop cutting and now that he thought about it, McGee had thought nothing about cutting himself or hurting himself in any other way. "I'm feeling fine sir," McGee said after a long pause.

Nathan grinned happily, "Excellent," he said a smile on his face. He picked up his notebook and like yesterday tucked his legs underneath himself. "So," Nathan said getting his pen ready, "how was yesterday for you?"

"A bit odd," McGee answered honestly.

Nathan nodded and wrote something down in his notebook. "Ah yes I heard you met Miss Hanson yesterday." He said with a light smirk on his face. McGee nodded, a similar smile on his face. "Quite an eccentric girl isn't she?" McGee nodded, feeling much more at ease with his psychologist.

So for the next hour they talked, roughly hitting McGee's childhood, including much geek banter between them. Nathan bid him goodbye saying he would see him in a few days. After the first two days, patients went to therapy twice a week. McGee, being a bit sad about leaving the most normal person in the hospital, nodded and like yesterday was taken into the activity room. Like yesterday, people aimlessly sat around the room some doing things others not. Sitting at the table he had been sitting at yesterday was Kalvin.

As McGee approached the man, he notices that his hair was sticking up and frizzy as if he had stuck a knife in a socket. "Hey," McGee said nicely, happy that someone he noticed was in the room.

Kalvin looked up at McGee and watched him closely as he sat down, his green eyes bright. "Hello," he said.

McGee softly smiling from the humorous way his new "friend" had his hair asked, "What happened to you man?"

Kalvin smiled a huge smile, his eyes dangerously bright, "Electroshock therapy." McGee nodded looked around uneasy. The rest if the day had went by uneventful, group therapy being painfully slow. McGee slightly wondered where young Alaska Hanson was for he had not seen her once all day. Shrugging the thought off, McGee said night to Kalvin as he climbed into bed after group therapy. Kalvin said goodnight as well and silently said, "You know Tim, it's nice to have a friend." McGee then quickly heard Kalvin's quiet snores.

McGee smiled to himself and said, "Yeah it is."

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_Aw, Timmy has a friend! How cute. ;3_


	5. Never Stare Into Your Blood

_Sorry for such a short chapter but I wanted to post something before I went to bed. Since I'm going to school tomorrow (maybe) I don't know how much time I'll have for writing so hopefully I won't be gone too long. :3_

_Thanks all you who have favorited, put this on story alert, and reviewed! You guys make writing amazing. ;3_

_And now Cut chapter five.  
_

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The next two weeks passed without much happening. It was really just a normal routine for McGee over and over again. That is until the last week of March. Everything had been going perfectly until that fateful Friday afternoon when suddenly sane Timothy McGee became slightly out of his mind. Kalvin, McGee, and Alaska, whom had finally been let out of solitary confinement, had all been talking and working to create their art projects in the pottery class offered to them. McGee had been having a nice time that is until a hardened piece of clay off of his vase broke off slicing into his hand. McGee had went silent automatically, staring down into his hand where blood was now pooling. His breathing picked up drastically as he watched his blood drip from the large gash on his palm, completely mesmerized.

With a flurry of both insanity and extreme need, McGee ran the hardened clay over his wrist. In four quick strokes, he had carved four deep gashes within his arm; blood streaming down his arm. Tears streamed down his cheeks hard and his body was so tense it was a wonder that his skin didn't crack under the extreme pressure. A nurse jumped over to him and injected him with a substance that would make him unconscious, within seconds his body slumped down. Two orderlies pulled him out of the room much like they had with Alaska.

Kalvin looked at the door and then down to the table, blood dripped like syrup down onto the white, stone floor. He looked up at Alaska with a child-like expression of confusion on his face. Alaska gave him an awkward shoulder hug and he wrapped his arm around her skinny waist. They had, had no idea that there friend was so broken. No one knew how broken Timothy McGee was, not even himself. Sure he could lie to himself like he had been but how far did that actually go? Today was one of the only days where McGee's dark shadow took over showing the world who he truly was. An unstable man who was stepping closer and closer to the edge.

When the sedative wore off, McGee found himself in a blinding white padded room alone. A stray-jacket was wrapped around his limps, pulling his arms painfully behind him. McGee pulled at the jacket attempting to loosen the tight hold that the straps had on his body. Finally after many failed attempts, McGee collapsed in a heap breathing harshly. He uneasily scooted his body over to the corner of the room terrified at what he had done. McGee was very glad there wasn't anything that could show his reflection because he really didn't want to see himself, or the emotions that were on his face. Suddenly, a padded part of the plushy four walls opened revealing Doctor Nathan Bell.

Nathan walked toward him cautiously then kneeled down in front of him, his head cocked to the side. "My, my Timothy there's more going on in your head than I presumed." Nathan leaned in closer as if he was trying to examine McGee's soul.

"How long have I been in here?" McGee asked in a small voice, being honest with himself he was a bit afraid to know the answer.

"About three days, we had to make sure you weren't going to hurt yourself again my friend…" Nathan kept on talking but McGee blocked him out, his thoughts taking over. _'I've been in here three days?! How could I do this? If Tony or anyone else hears about this I'm done for…' _"…we've also called in your brother, Tony."

McGee stopped and looked at Nathan with fear in his eyes. "W…wh…why'd you call him!"

Nathan stood up and smiled softly down at McGee, "Well because we thought it would be best perhaps if a family member spoke to you." He then started to walk away when he stopped and turned around, "Don't worry Tim, everything will be fine." He flashed him a smile and left leaving McGee anxiously biting on his lip. How on Earth was he going to explain himself to Tony, the one man who could see through his lies? Heaving a deep sigh, McGee rested his head against the padded wall. This was going to be a long week.


	6. I Don't Feel So Alone

_Sorry for the fact that I haven't updated in forever and that this chapter is so short. School's been being a whore with all of its tests so I've been studying pretty hard (well sort of). I've also had some mind blockage with this other story for Star Trek along with the story my friend and I are writing. Crazy stuff dudes, crazy stuff. _

_Anyway! Hopefully this chapter will be alright. Oh btw, tip to anyone around flying basketballs or high school; be very careful whenever you walk around or something might be thrown at you like a basketball. True fact. Well love you guys. 3  
_

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McGee was extremely nervous, his stomach flipping painfully. He was about to face Tony and McGee couldn't help but cringe; he knew this was not going to go well. Running a hand through his short hair, McGee nervously readied himself for seeing Tony. Sitting at a table in the middle of the empty day-room, Tony stared off into space waiting for his arrival. "Er hello." McGee said uneasily, almost sounding like when he was first a new "probie".

Tony looked up, his expression sour, his teeth clenched tightly. "McGee." He said shortly, his tone just as clipped. He stood up, slightly towering over the younger man. In a swift motion, Tony slapped the back of McGee's head. McGee made a sound of disapproval but was quickly silenced whenever he felt Tony arm's around him. McGee looked at him in surprise then smiled slightly. They then sat down facing each, Tony's expression still a bit sour. "What were you thinking Probie?"

McGee smiled slightly at the use of his old nickname; even though it had only been a couple of weeks since he had been joking around with Tony it seemed a lot longer. That smile however vanished whenever Tony's question sunk into his mind. What had he been thinking? "I…I have no idea." McGee muttered mainly to himself instead of Tony.

"I thought you were getting better," Tony admitted fully, and he did think the young Probie was healing. Doctor Bell, McGee's psychologist, had called him twice a week to tell him how McGee was doing and all of his words had been positive. Tony was becoming optimistic about his young friend. Now he assumed that this would only put a strain in his recovery.

McGee sighed and put his head in his hands. Refusing to look at Tony, McGee mumbled, "I thought I was too…"

No longer wanting to talk about the subject, McGee asked how everyone at NCIS was doing. Tony shrugged his shoulders, "I guess it's going okay. Abby's taking you not being there a bit hard." McGee sank down in his chair, feeling guilty. It also killed him that he couldn't see any of his friends besides Tony. They spoke of random things for the next hour, their conversations ranging from football to woman. After a while, an orderly came over and told Tony to leave, much to McGee's distain. Tony stood up, his mood lightened a bit. "Well, you get better okay?" He said while hugging McGee close then pushing him away.

McGee nodded, a smile on his face. He waved at Tony's leaving form. Maybe now he would start getting better.

Kalvin was lying on his bed, looking up toward the ceiling. Since his roommate had been stuck in solitary confinement, it had put both him and Alaska in a funk. They were all a group, when one was missing it didn't seem quite right. An orderly pushes open the door to reveal McGee. Kalvin waits until the orderly leaves to sit up. "McGee! You're back!"

McGee smiled down at his friend and nodded, sitting down on his bed. He felt a bit more at home now, even the painfully prodding springs. "Yep," he said while lying down, "and I've never felt so at home."


	7. All You Need Is Love Maybe

Time seemed to move a bit faster McGee after talking with Tony. It made McGee realize that he wasn't alone in his struggle to wanting or even thinking about cutting himself. Summer faded to fall then to winter. It was mid-December, nearing Christmas.

"I love Christmas," Kalvin said while placing a string of garland above the window. McGee, Alaska, and Kalvin, along with their new friend, Nelson, were in the dayroom decorating for the holidays.

"Yeah, me too." McGee and Alaska say in unison, both of them then laughed. Nelson smiled at his new friends, he was very thankful that he had found them.

_-Flashback-_

_Eighteen-year-old Nelson Verse nervously walked beside an orderly, carefully keeping in step with the older man. He had just arrived at Cainbridge Mental Hospital and so far his trip had been nerve-racking. _

"_We'll be watching you." The man said while slightly pushing Nelson toward the door. Nelson uneasily pushed the door open to reveal a large, bright room. The room was filled with different sorts of people. Most of them were grouped in small groups, some sat alone staring off into nothing. "Go on." _

_Nelson slumped into the room, his hands deep within his pockets. He didn't want to be here, he thought it was highly illogical and just plain stupid. A boy at school had been picking on him for four years so Nelson threatened to tie him down, cut his body open, and harvest his internal organs. Needless to say, he was sent to the mental hospital for a while. He walked over to an empty chair near the window and calmly sat down, watching other closely. _

"_Hi, my name's Tim but you can call me McGee." A voice beside him. Nelson looked over to see a man around his age sitting next to a girl that was around his age, an older man sat next to the girl. _

"_Hello, I'm Nelson," he said politely. It wasn't that he was rude or even relatively crazy he just really wanted that guy to back off. Perhaps when he said those threatening words, he should've put his knife down… _

_McGee pointed to the girl beside him, "This is Alaska," she did a small sort of bow, "And this is Kalvin." He said pointing to the man with the shaggy hair._

"_Nice to meet you guys." Nelson was about to say something else when a nurse announced group therapy. How fun…_

_They all pulled a chair into a circle, fifteen chairs being occupied. Nelson sat between Alaska and McGee, nervous to even attempt to sit with anyone else._

_Doctor Nathan Bell sat in the circle of chairs and clicked his pen. "How is everyone today?" A mixture of responses were heard through the room ranging from fine to I want to kill myself. "Ah, it seems as if we have a new face within our group." He looked down at his paper, "This is Nelson Verse, say hi everyone." Again responses were mixed from hello to what's up to I want to shoot you. Very mixed group of people. "Would you like to go first Nelson?" _

_Nelson simply shrugged his shoulders, "Sure why not." A so the two-hour long hell began. Afterward, McGee and Kalvin left to go to their rooms bidding him good night. An orderly showed him to his room. After he was alone, Nelson lied back onto the bed cupping his hands behind his head. "This is going to suck…" _

_-End flashback-_

"Nelson!" Nelson looked up at Kalvin's gave, a small smirk on the older boys face. "You with us mate?" Nelson nodded and got back to helping McGee, Alaska, and Kalvin decorate.

After a while, Alaska dropped herself down into a chair, picking up an acoustic guitar that had been sitting on the floor. It was Alaska's guitar, George. Alaska started to hit a few notes but came frustrated when no music came to her to play. McGee reached for the guitar and started to strum a few notes. Finally a song hit him.

_Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love._

_There's nothing you can do that can't be done._

_Nothing you can sing that can't be sung._

_Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game_

_It's easy._

_There's nothing you can make that can't be made._

_No one you can save that can't be saved._

_Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you_

_in time - It's easy._

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love._

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_There's nothing you can know that isn't known._

_Nothing you can see that isn't shown._

_Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be._

_It's easy._

_All you need is love, all you need is love,_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

_All you need is love (all together now)_

_All you need is love (everybody)_

_All you need is love, love, love is all you need._

McGee finished, all of them laughing. He sat back in his chair after giving Alaska back her guitar. Maybe all he needed was love…


	8. The Zenith of Life

McGee looked in the mirror, a smile on his face. Here he was wearing his own clothes instead of the ugly, orange jumpsuits from the hospital. One year ago today, he was a confused boy sitting in a hospital room thinking of how easy death could be. Now, a completely different person, Timothy McGee would re-enter the world a man of clear thought.

"So it's true then?" McGee turned around to see Alaska standing in the door frame, her arms crossed against her chest. Her curly hair was cut a bit shorter, it now reaching her shoulders. "My, my baby Flinch has grown so much in a year." She laughed and sat down on Kalvin's bed, "So you're leaving then?"

McGee nodded, "Yeah, I'm ready to fight the bad guys again." He smiled at her, "Aren't girls not allowed on this wing?"

Alaska shrugged her shoulders, "I dunno," she then laughed, "I still can't believe it, _Flinch_ a NCIS agent." She laughed again and then pulled out a picture frame. "Kalvin and I don't want you to forget us, should've given Liam one too." Liam had gotten out earlier than expected and was now back in his high school a legend according to his letter. Alaska handed him the frame, it was of Kalvin, Alaska, and him all smiling. McGee was about to express his great gratitude when suddenly he was crushed in a hug. "Thank you." She said to him.

"For what?" McGee asked in confusion.

"For being a friend." McGee smiled at Alaska, both of them smiling past their tears, and crushed her into another hug. "I'll never forget you Timothy McGee."

"I'll never forget you Alaska Hanson."

"Oi! What about me?" Kalvin stood in the doorway, a mock glare on his features. His skin now held a light tan, his hair short and slightly spiky. He smiled at them, "Group hug." McGee and Alaska laughed but pulled together, three friends who conquered the unbeatable. Three friends that would never forget each other.

After saying goodbye to everyone he had cared to meet, McGee found himself outside in the sunshine. It felt different now, more bright and warm, like when you first see the sun after a long storm. To McGee, it couldn't get any better.

"Timmy!" He was crushed into a hug by Abby, he had missed her so much. McGee hugged her tightly, now surrounded by Kate, Ducky, and Gibbs.

" 'Bout time Probie," McGee turned to look at Tony, his facial expression a teasing one. He crushed the older man in a hug. McGee was so lucky, he couldn't count the amount of blessing's that he received daily. Now, surrounded by the family that loved him, Timothy McGee couldn't feel anymore fixed. This was his zenith, the highest point in his life. This is where he felt at home.

The End.

* * *

_Finally finished! Hope this isn't a crappy ending, I really tried on this small chapter; you guys have no idea. Thank you for all who have read this and thank you for all who reviewed, favourited, story alerted! Thank you guys so much for supporting my writing, it means so much to me! Thank you and goodbye!_


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